so this has been an unexpected journey this past week. If you ask anyone closest to me if I am bossy the answer after checking to see if I am in ear shot would be YES! Well this week I have come to realize that being in control doesn’t work with everything especially when you want to be used by God. I have been trying to figure out what has been keeping me from going into the next realm with God and the answer to my surprise was trust God and lose control. Here I am believing that I am trusting God and then to be told that I have to give Him complete control as in don’t ask any questions and be a yes man to the leading of the Holy Spirit I was shocked. I’m not going to lie I was a bit perplexed and afraid. But then I realized the one time I really did trust God I was at such peaceful place in my life. I had no worries because I knew that as a child of God He had all of my needs met.
Now when I gave myself to man and gave up control to him my life was a TOTAL mess. I’m like God this was supposed to be my future husband and His response was “I didn’t tell you that, you never let me in that relationship, you didn’t ask me my thoughts. It was all Ashley.” So I had to go and get myself out of that situation (because I’m so stubborn and hard headed) and then instead of giving God the control I went and took my life back into my own hands. I love Heather Lindsey because of her faith in God. Her story was far from perfect and God had to get her to a place where all seemed like it would be lost unless He stepped in. I feel I am at that place in my life right now, where nothing seems to be going my way and yet I am like okay God whenever you are ready.
As I type this post I am reminded of Jonah. God told Jonah to be a messenger and Jonah wanted to do things his way. Eventually Jonah had to obey God after being thrown overboard trying to run from God, and getting swallowed by a fish being trapped in the belly for 3 days. Jonah goes and tells the people of Nineveh the prophecy of them being destroyed. The thing that frustrated me the most out of this situation was God spared the people of Nineveh and Jonah was upset by it. He would have rather died than to do what God instructed Him to do, and then Jonah obeys God, but because God chose to spare the people Jonah gets angry. As I finished reading the story I was thrown off because Jonah had a job, disobeyed God, did his job, and felt as if God had cheated him because God chose to be sovereign. (Book of Jonah)
As I’m typing now I have been given a revelation. God giving us a purpose and Him having control isn’t just about building a relationship with Him or for things that benefit us. God will bless obedience, and you will have the most beautiful relationship with the Father. But, we were not created for ourselves. God created us with purpose to help be a light to the dark places and bring His children to the knowledge of His son and His grace. We may get blessed and all our needs and desires met but that’s just because He loves us. The reward is knowing that by obeying God and losing control we can help spare a brother, sister, or group of individuals from having to spend an eternity in hell. This life is only a temporary place. My God and His place that is being prepared by Jesus is for eternity.
I’m not willing to miss Him or slow down His plans to bring others home because I want to be selfish and have my way.I don’t want to do only half of what He wanted because things aren’t the way I like. I’m prone to many errors and mistakes because I am human. But relinquishing all power to the great creator means I don’t have to suffer the consequences of errors because God makes no mistakes. I’m not always going to get it right but as long as I am obedient all things will work together for my good. (Romans 8:28) I have decided today to lose control and trust God despite not being able to understand it. (Proverbs 3:5-6) God’s ways and reasons are not our concern because we can only see today but He sees and knows all things. (Isaiah 55:8-13) My prayer is that someone will read this and do the same. By doing this I know that we are going to experience a true life and relationship that is worth having and our time will be maximized with beautiful experiences.