Our Part for our Veterans!!!!

Happy Monday Everyone!

I hope everyone had a great weekend. To all of my readers hugs and if you like what you see comment, like, share, and follow for future content.

First and for most Happy Veterans Day to all the vets out there. I know so many amazing vets and truly understand the sacrifices of leaving their families, risking their lives, losing limbs, and lets not even touch on their mental well being. All for the freedom of the American people. They deserve all of the honor and acknowledgment in the WORLD!

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So if any of my readers are vets or currently serving in our military I salute you, I pray for you and your families, and I pray especially hard for you if you’ve lost a member on the line of duty. Hugs your way.

Today’s post is actually inspired by my love for veterans. So many risk everything for this country. I have friends and family through out the military who go on tours for months and years on end. Most, are away from their families missing important milestones just for our freedom.

To Britt, Marques, Nigel, Terrell and Granpa Jimmy (RIP), grand daddy,Ralph Michelle, Jaliena, Jasmine, Natalie, Hope, and everyone else I have the pleasure of knowing personally. From my family and from the bottom of our hearts thank you for your courage, for your sacrifices, for your struggle, and for your service. I love you guys so much.

(Would love to post you all’s photos but I don’t have permission. So know, your beautiful faces are forever ingrained in my heart.)

I also, have met extraordinary people by volunteering. Stories so unreal and so powerful. It hurts my soul to even imagine and the lack of recognition they receive is horrifying.

So, I did a little research on ways we can support our troops, our veterans, and the families of fallen soldiers. Because thank you just isn’t enough. If you’re interested in ways we can show true thankfulness and support for our amazing hero’s keep reading.

Ways we can support our Veterans and Troops:

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There are over 21 million veterans in this country and over 2 million active duty military personel. Some may receive benefits, but there are many individuals who struggle while waiting on benefits to come through for their families once disabled or discharged. A trying time especially for low ranking officials who’s families depended on their service to provide for them.

The Military Wallet

The following link leads to charities that help provide assistance for individuals while waiting to hear if they will receive benefits. In my opinion they all deserve to take care of their families and deserve benefits but alas we don’t live in a perfect world.

Please reach out to them and see how they accept monetary donations for those families impacted by injuries while serving our country.

https://themilitarywallet.com/emergency-financial-help-for-military-families/

Vietnam Veterans of America

One of my favorite charities as both of my grandfathers served in the Vietnam war, not only accept monetary donations but furniture, clothing, and shoes for those vets who have fallen on hard times.

Follow the link below to see how you can support our vets with the extra things in your home that is no longer needed that would benefit one of our armed force members in need. It’s super easy and they can even pick up the donations right from your home.

https://pickupplease.org/donation-program/

These are just a couple of charities I am aware of. There are so many more out there. PLEASE research how to donate to the men and women who have served in our military to protect your right to freedom.

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Volunteer: 

Another, MAJOR way we can support our veterans is by volunteering! Google locations in your area that support our veterans so that you and your family can be a blessing to our vets by showing up and doing YOUR part.

You can also visit the link below find locations and programs to support our veterans by volunteering.

https://www.volunteer.va.gov

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Care Packages: 

An awesome way to show your support for our veterans and troops alike would be by providing care packages!

There’s no better way to support our men and women in arms than by giving a sweet care package.

Call your local Veterans Affairs Office to see what is acceptable to package and send off to our troops and vets. Build a team in your neighborhood, school, church, or community centers.

Set up a team to advertise that you are accepting donations for care packages. Team up with your local stores and see if they will allow you to post your drop off locations for items needed. Another team can accept and collect donations (provide reciepts so that people can claim their donations on their taxes win/win). Another team to build the packages, and the final team to transport the packages to be sent off.

My family is currently preparing to complete care packages within our local church for this coming winter with things like gloves, hats, quarters, non-perishable items, and toiletries to drop off to our local office so that they can be dispersed to those vets in need that are in our community.

Tip: Anyone willing to do this I am offering my coupon manual for free so that you and your team can purchase items at more affordable rates by using coupons. If you don’t already know how.

Email me at momvibez1120@gmail.com if interested.

There are many other ways you can support our veterans and troops year round. It just takes a quick second to google ways you can be of service to those who have served our country. You just have to be diligent.

Please comment if you have further ideas on ways for us to thank our Veterans and Men/Women who have served and are currently serving our country.

Untile next time.

Hugs,

Ashley

Wellness Wednesday:Refresh Your Mind

Happy Hump Day!

Welcome back if you’ve been here before I appreciate the support from the bottom of my heart. If your new and you like what you see please like, share, comment, and/follow for future content.

Oh my gosh it has been a LONG week. Jessye (5) months and Caleb (1) have been going through sleep regression along with teething. So it’s been rough! Joshua has work and midterms so he can’t do the midnight shifts with me, so I’ve been kind of exhausted.

You may not have this going on but maybe other things have been causing you to feel run down. I know a lot of people have a bug that’s been going around (it passed through here as well).

So, for this Wellness Wednesday Topic I thought it would be fun if we just all took a moment to refresh and relax our mind. Keep reading if you could use tips on how to do this all for the cost of $0.00 with things you can find right at home!

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1. Unplug.

In our society we’ve all become so accustomed to technology that we don’t know how to enjoy the quiet. So take this evening as an opportunity to do so.

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2. Grab a drink.

Whether it’s wine, a cup of tea, or fresh cucumber and lemon water. Whatever you choose it’s just something to enjoy while tuning out the chaos of this world.

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3. Grab a journal.

We are so consumed in our days and the welfare of others that we skimp on taking time for ourselves to determine what it is we want for ourselves. So find a quiet space in your home and take this time to write out your thoughts. Things you’ve been wanting to say or do. The thoughts that have been repeating themselves day in and day out.  It’ll be nice to get everything out on papers. Especially if you don’t have anyone to speak to that can relate with where you are.

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4.Enjoy the silence.

Now that the thoughts are out and your mind is quiet. Sit there and enjoy it. It’s a time to calm those nerves and those anxieties. It may seem hard to just sit in silence. But the point is to recenter ourselves so we don’t snap. Enjoy the peace and stillness. Give yourself at least 10 minutes if you aren’t comfortable just sitting in silence you can find something like nature sounds, rain, water. The point however is to focus on centering yourself to bring your mind some ease.

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5. Grab a book.

I personally like to grab something that focuses on self development. But find something that peaks your interest. Reading is a great way to keep your mind STRONG. Check out this article from Business Insider if you don’t believe me.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.businessinsider.com/14-reasons-why-reading-is-good-for-your-health-2016-12

If you don’t have anything to read already you can visit

free-ebooks.net

or google some free ebooks on topics you like!

I hope you guys give this a try especially those of you experiencing some stress or anxiety in your life. I promise that though these steps seem simple they are effective in helping to refresh your mind.

Happy refreshing,

Ashley

 

All photos brought to you are from Google images no intent for copyrighting.

Domestic Abuse Awareness-My Story

D8BA045B-1170-454D-A0E1-9310FAC8F24DHey guys welcome back or if you’re new welcome to 4mommyvibez.com. A blog based on lifestyle, family, wellness, DIY’s, and so much more. If you like the content please be sure to follow and like the post. Today’s post however is going to be different than the norm as I would like to help encourage awareness for a cause close to home. I encourage individuals to get help if they are in a similar or worse situation than I had been in.

On to Today’s topic: Domestic Abuse Awareness-My Story.

Disclaimer: If you are a victim or survivor of domestic abuse this may be a trigger. So please feel free to click out at any moment. You are wonderful and I appreciate your support. If you or someone you know is in an abusive domestic situation please call the 24 hour domestic hotline for help and resources 1-800-799-7233, you can also visit their website thehotline.org. Hugsssss

As some of you may know October is domestic abuse awareness month. Currently there is someone who suffers some form of physical violence every 20 minutes, that equates to 10 million victims (men and women a year).(Check out the stats on NCADV.org for more information).  So I have decided to share my story in hopes of helping someone who is a victim or has a loved one who may be a victim and bring awareness.

To my victims or as I like to call them survivors my heart and prayers go out to you. If you are still in a situation and feel like you have no one who will understand or that you can talk to and afraid to get help  you can e-mail me personally  @momvibez1120@gmail.com.

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My Story:

When I was 17 going on 18 I came in contact with an individual through a major social network called Tagged at the moment. There was no way I intended on really being with the individual, however with being sheltered to the point of not being able to do anything but school I was limited to interaction of the outside world and the internet was truly my only option to escape my dysfunctional home life that wasn’t controlled by my mother and grandparents. To this day I feel like if I had an ounce of freedom to experience things like hanging with friends and being i activities I would have NEVER decided to do anything so reckless.

The guy was charming to a fault. He was a student at the Naval Academy (Military Prepatory school) in Annapolis, MD. So he was successful (or so I thought). He seemed easy to talk to and I stupidly told him all about my past. He would later use all my faults to his advantage. The crazy thing is prior to me getting seriously involved with this guy a woman called my phone trying to declare her status of being this guy’s girlfriend. I should have taken head to her warnings about him. He of course played victim and claimed she was some crazy ex trying to ruin his life and chances of being happy with someone else because he left her. However, I honestly just enjoyed  our conversations and didn’t see anything coming of them. My desire to make my own decisions and immature mind thought I had things under control. We decided to meet up after I moved back from GA when I stupidly decided to move there on a whim after graduation with my long lost father who I hadn’t seen for 14 years. (Do you see how lost and desperate I was to get away from the chaos that was my life.)

After several months of talking daily we decided to have an interaction in person. One of my best friends, and twin sister came with me to meet him and we all went to the mall. A shopping spree, dinner, and Cheesecake Factory later I felt like maybe we could continue to interact. (Don’t judge because I’m sure today we have friends who use dating websites, Facebook, IG, and snap to meet individuals. Use my story as a cautionary tale.)

Here is where things start to get super messy and crazy.  I would later find out that this guy gets in contact with friends and associates trying to manipulate them and break relationships I had with these people if they weren’t willing to do what he requested in regards to interaction with me. With those relationships deteriorating I started to feel more alone and more consumed with this fake Romeo/hero. He started to become possessive and claimed he was in love blah blah blah. If I wasn’t in contact he would snap. There was verbal abuse, threats of exposure (he had intimate photos of me), and then apologies came rolling in. He was messed up, didn’t want to lose me, the typical abusive partner script. Did I really see us as being in a relationship, NO! Was I captivated by the attention and gifts I received yes.

Sidebar: my mother was spoken to recklessly, and in an abusive relationship with a charming individual that to this day the world seems to believe is a gift from God. If only they knew the true story. But because of her interaction I somehow internalized that irrational behavior was normal. A lot of victims of domestic abuse come from abusive environments. Thus, we believe that it’s normal and that abuse is love when it’s NOT!

affection board broken broken hearted

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Our second interaction would take the verbal abuse to physical. We decided to meet up a second time, my thoughts were we were going to spend time in the city. My sister was coming with us to hangout. but he became disrespectful commenting on her status of being unwed and pregnant as well as using stories she felt comfortable to disclose to taunt her that she left. He claimed he was just joking and I stupidly believed my sister was being irrational because she didn’t want to go anyways. Clearly I was a mess and a brainwashed zombie because I felt he was all I had outside of college and work. My family relationship was strained, friends weren’t speaking to me. I was utterly alone.

I became annoyed at this moment but I desired freedom. I planned on cutting him off that night after our outing. However he had other plans. He had a free weekend from school so he rented a room at this fancy hotel in the heart of the city. I thought he was going to change as he was in uniform and because of his rank/year wasn’t allowed to be in civilian clothing. He had other plans in mind.

I was definitely not ready to be intimate though we discussed it and I admit I teased about it. But I did say no. I was afraid and just wanted to go. (I am also a rape survivor prior to this incident something he knew and used to his advantage. But that’s another story.) I felt stupid and wanted to leave because he got me there under false pretenses. He backhanded me and forced me to have sex with him, proceeding to hit and strangle me during because I wasn’t performing to his expectations. He then tried to coerce me into spending the night with him. Knowing my mother would not go for this I thought this was my chance. He grabbed the phone from me and tried to assert himself saying I was an adult I could do as I pleased and hung up. Thankfully I told her where I was, so she, my aunt, my best friend, and sister came to get me.

 

By then I was embarrassed, scared, in shock. I shut down emotionally to prevent myself from breaking down because I didn’t want to be hit anymore. I was so relieved to see my mom pull up, he attempted to keep me from getting into the car and I didn’t want to make a scene outside of the hotel. I managed to get in and my aunt sped off nearly rolling over his foot. As I was getting ready to tell them what happened they all started yelling at me. Here I was already feeling like hell, in pain, and wanting to ask for help and tell them what happened. But I felt I couldn’t because I was ashamed.

I tried to ignore him, he apologized and showed up at my job, sent gifts, the whole 9. Months passed and he wouldn’t give in and I really wanted him to leave me alone but somehow my sick mind believed he loved me. He claimed he was getting therapy etc. so I decided to work it out.  Months of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse would ensue soon after. Friends tried to talk to me about it. But I couldn’t tell them why I couldn’t leave this relationship. By now I was too afraid to leave. He had threatened to kill me and himself if I left, harm my family. Etc. After everything I had been through I believed him I was going to leave but I had to do it smart because I didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of the choices I made.

I finally got fed up of the abuse, came clean to my mom about everything with my grandmothers help after he physically attacked me outside of church one day. I decided to move away after all this sick individual put me through, and I moved to GA to get away from him because he would just pop up at my job, and school back in MD. In GA, I was doing well in school, had a good job, had my own place to live. Then he contacted me saying he was sorry. He had agreed to give me my car, and cards that I acquired while we were together and we didn’t have to be in a relationship. I believed him like an idiot, the catch of course was I had to go to Chicago to pick the car up and he would sign it over to me.

I agreed because where I lived you really needed a car because there really wasn’t public transportation. In the midst of my trip to Chicago my moms dad passed. I had a layover in MD so I went home and saw her. I tried to explain to her my situation but she didn’t want to hear it. I spent a few days in Chicago, where he tried to woo me back into being with him. It was a set up to meet his family, have his niece and Abuela try to tell me he was a good man blah blah. To give us a chance. ( His father was the only one who knew the extent of the chaos of our relationship and thought I was the problem that I was destroying his sick bastards chance at being an officer in the military etc.)

Anyways, back and forth over the signing of this car title for months, him transferring all my money into accounts he had cards into, and another hotel attack later I had finally had enough. I was completely fed up, traumatized, and knew that if I didn’t take control of my life he would possibly take it. He was kicked out of the Naval Academy meaning if I didn’t act now that he would force himself into becoming a permanent fixture of hell in my life.

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I gave him everything back. And thought I’d never have to deal with him again: I no longer cared about the money, I closed everything I had open with him, gave him the car, and changed my number. It was a done deal. Or so I thought. The last hotel attack left me pregnant. I was mortified. My grandmother urged me to come home and we would figure everything out. At this point in my life I considered suicide as that to me was the only way out. I almost attempted it but didn’t want to put my family through anymore pain than I already had.  After I moved home my grandmother had gotten really sick, anyone who knew me knew my grandmother was my everything. She convinced me that I could have this baby and raise it to be strong. So I kept the baby and my grandmother named her Faith. The day she gave me the name Faith and the reason behind it she had a stroke, a week later she passed. And I have been fighting for Faith because of my grandmother ever since. Faith truly was all the strength I needed to never go back.

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I would never fall trap to abuse or allow that individual to break me again because of Faith. I took my life back and refused to allow anyone ever again to have control over me. I since have gotten my degree, have gotten married to the most AMAZING man. Have had two more beautiful babies, have a successful business and working on another.My daughter has a phenomenal relationship with my husband and anyone will tell you is a daddy’s girl. The abusive individual is at bay and thanks to my husband I no longer deal with him, and if I choose to deal with him I’m no longer afraid of what could happen. (Though I do struggle from PTSD, and have been prone to panic attacks when it comes to him.) I have healed from the trauma thanks to therapy, support from my family and close friends, and Josh, and can say I am truly happy and free.

There’s so much more to the story but this post has been long enough.

From my story I pray that you or your loved one knows they can get out. There is HOPE! That there is a way to live a full life of possibility and blessings. It may seem like death is the only answer or that you have to continue to endure, but choose  life because you deserve to be happy, you deserve REAL love, you deserve to enjoy the life you live. Get help, talk to someone and free yourself from bondage because you deserve BETTER and you CAN live an amazing life without that person. You are strong enough to get through this.

With tons of hugs, and prayers your way,

Ashley

 

 

Give Yourself a Break

“You have a friend in me.”-Toy Story

Okay. So somehow you ended up on this link thinking I need some type of inspiration because I feel like I am failing. You hear about all the women who can manage their careers, and still make time for family, self care, church, friends, romance, etc. 

You long to have someone understand that as hard as you try you are struggling to keep it all together because though it’s hard you love your husband/ significant other, children, career, and you wouldn’t trade them for the world. (Trust me I understand your struggle as I sit here typing my 1 year old tossed his 4 month old sister’s dirty diaper at me with a look of pure astonishment and amusement as I ask why.)

Just like you my house is in shambles and though I have made a pretty good attempt and being a good step ford wife my attempts just seem to be trampled on by my beautiful Tasmanian devil also known as Caleb. It seems as if we spend an hr or more going from one room to the next cleaning and in a matter of nano seconds it has miraculously been hit by mini tornadoes.  

You sigh as your husband/significant other questions what have you done all day and why you haven’t showered. Despite not knowing the chaos that ensued moments earlier. You just want to scream to let it all out. But what good will that do?

You are feeling far from sexy and just want to cave under the pressure. Am I right? If like me the above scenario seems like a mirrored scenario then know you are not alone. You have come to the right spot and I first want to send you a strong hug through your screen. 

Now let’s create a vibe, because despite how you feel at this very moment you deserve it. Place the toddler in the play pen, baby in the swing, and preoccupy your youngster with the devil box (it’s ok to laugh). Place your husband/significant other on duty and clock out.

Turn on some music, light a candle, and BREATHE! We have so much on our plates and I wanted to create a space where you can be free and find a group of individuals who feel the sting of not being the perfect mom. To have support, to share your stories, and to gain some skills to help you manage a little better if you so choose.

We are not failures! We are capable of being the awesome professionals, sexy wives, moms extraordinaire that society pressures us to be. We also aren’t robots. We need support and may not want to burden others with the oh so obvious truth. We too get tired and want to take the S off of our superwoman capes and turn them into Z’s. We want to take off the sweaty (and if you’re like me baby stained) shirts and trade them in for a spa robe. The juice cup for a nice chilled glass of Moscato and crying/ fighting of our children for our favorite artist on blast. 

So if no one else will say it I am here to say that YES you can take that much needed breath of fresh air with your house in shambles. The mess can wait your peace of mind can not. NO it does not make you a failure, bad wife, or mom. You deserve some peace and time to find your vibe. Once you have recharged your batteries you can check back in and become the beautiful wife, and best mom in the world. 

We are capable of so much more and I pray that my future content on parenting, marriage, wellness, organization, DIY’S, and spirituality will help inspire and encourage you to continue to be the most beautiful you that you can be.

Positive vibes and love your way.

Ashley